this is the life. not.

minus the shopping and food, i want to go hoooome. -_-

it’s hard to talk with people who are a sea away from me. it’s even harder to miss them. okay. i’m homesick. uber homesick like i want to cry instead of puking whenever someone gets seasick. this isn’t as easy as it seems. I have to either wake up really early or stay up late. sleeping time = talking time. i’m living in a timezone that’s in the middle of +8 and -8 but not 0. if you get that, lucky you.
my family won’t even stay up late for me to talk. i’d have to wake up half my slumber zone just to find out that they’re already asleep. what’s up with that? i hate the way this world has timezones. even if that really does save the world from war, i still hate it. hate hate hate hate hate it. think of despising something because it gives you drama eh?

i’ve read from a book that in order to achieve peace, one must feel anguish. one must live in the truth though the world doesn’t really like the truth. it thrives in dreams and hopes and lies. it can face the truth but it wants lies. it wants lies in order to move cause without it people won’t be looking for truth anymore. the truth is out there, we’re just not ready to see it. i’m willing to feel oh so desperate if in return i’d be able to go home and feel peace. do you get it? i had a hard time explaining it…but…anyway, that’s the discipline. so before starting anything else, one must be at peace with oneself. one mustn’t try something out just for the heck of losing or gaining something in return – like going here and wtf, i miss my family. since it’s still in my principle that i sacrifice for the greater good, it’s not yet called whoring. hahaha. i neeeed a plane ticket. 😦
my almost linguistic aunt knows how to curse in spanish. i told her that’s the only thing i know in spanish. hahaha. mierde. in french it’s merde (silent e) i think. by the way, i miss my family. haven’t i stressed that enough already? we’re going to knotts later and i waaaant my immediate family there. i miss mom’s rants and dad’s snores. i miss trina’s ever so bashful whispers hahaha and nicki’s cute fat batok. i miss nee’s hugs and whoopies. i miss mami’s gifts. hahaha. i miss snappy’s stench and kevin’s fleas. omg. i miss my home. even if they’ve transfered to a new house, it doesn’t make any difference in my longing to go home. it’s where i feel like it. it’s with these people. i also miss my friends. 😦

oh please mom, let me go home this christmas season. to all ye onlookers out there, please start a petition for me to go home. i’ll give you chocolates and pine cones if you give me a round trip ticket to go home. no joke!!!

maybe that’s all i can take. after that, i won’t be able to handle anything anymore. this is the discipline/way of life i have to face.please make this year realllly reaaaallllyyyy fast. like…in what seems like a day will already be a month…so that in a short time, my family will be here. right nee? right ma? yeeeey. @_@ gone is my discipline now. hahaha.

world peace, let it come. 🙂 toodles.


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