Sorry.

Of all means, why do I have to cry to vent it all out? Why do I have to reiterate my demands in order to nourish my security? And why do mosquitoes like to suck the blood out of people? With a rubix cube or a sudoku pad, my phone, some music, and nightly silence or stray dogs’ choral barks, I think and feed my ego with promises of a better and faster 2007. Nights like these are one of the reasons why nightmares reign. Nights like these give me headaches in the morning. Nights like these make me want to stay in Manila for the rest of my bum life.

Pardon me but I pity those who do not strive for the greater or higher feeling. LEVEL UP BA? For time immemorial, we people have acknowledged having known the secrets of life: that there’s a power greater than us that we cannot completely understand; that no one can have everything; that there’s such a thing called happiness; that there is a GOD. We all have dreams, and we all have questions that have seemingly impossible answers. So why the heck am I saying all of this crappy goodness? Question is, what am I thinking of possibly giving up my lifelong dream just for temporary boosts of happiness?

Okay. Okay. I get it now. I don’t have to be so narcissistic and demanding and emotional about the future nor the present. CHILL. That’s what my mom said. NO BUTS. I’m sorry for being such a brat. I’m sorry for crying. Too bad my emotional gauge can’t handle my drama. I’m sorry for not prioritizing my life properly. Oh dear. I’m sorry Ma, I’d love to go with you guys, too. Blame the PMS for the bad mood a while ago.

GOSH. I can’t believe how a few words out of my mouth can possibly ruin a weekend.

I’m sorry.

edit.

I see pictures. We looked SO YOUNG back then..that was…less than a year ago. HAHAHA. crap. I miss summer.

Something tells me that… it’ll be all right.

Toodles.

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