i need a good tutor. please tell me if you can tutor me.

Instead of killing myself for another failed attempt in public display of intelligence, I’m going to tell it to the world here instead. I freaking went over the time limit. AGAIN. I loathe public speaking. It’s like sticking a mannequin up my butt. Whoever loves speech must hate me but I hate it still. It kills me every single time I stand in front and look like a tomato. Eh. Too bad I didn’t die. I should have. I should have.

This week, though it’s only halfway through, I’ve learned something about America. Most people here are individualistic. Evident from the Bill of Rights, everything is goaled towards the individual, not the group. As long as it does not hurt or concern the person, he or she does not care nor give a poop. It’s kind of hard to understand them, really. There’s like a big wall that separates one from the other. As much as I’m trying to infiltrate through those walls, they shut out every relational moment possible. Or maybe that’s just me. Positively thinking, this protects everyone from everybody else. But it does keep them apart. Befriending people is easy but trying to know them is hard. Everybody passes by with a blur or a buzz leaving that certain aftermath of friendship cut short. Eh at least that’s what I know so far.

Calculus makes me smile now. Surprisingly, it’s my collegiate vitamin. I just wish the positivity affects my grades, too. Do becoming cynical, stoic and workaholic all constitute in growing old? Because I feel like a hundred years older.

I wish.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: