Do you believe in Fortune Cookies?

“And all he wanted was to hold her.

Let’s pretend to trade sexes for a moment. Then the statement becomes true. I don’t know why but another line made me cry. Me of all people. I shouldn’t even be feeling anything because I don’t want to allow myself to dive into another bed of nails. It’s the lethargy and numbness that I’m asking for. Please get off my head. Get off my system. Maybe it’s like weed. The saturation takes a while before it all disappears. (I don’t know I only heard about this. I’ve never tried grass before.) OR you’re just inevitable. But dear, nothing IS inevitable.

A good friend told me it’s going to be hard because we were on the same plane. That good hated friend also said that you’re not worth the trouble I’m going through just to free myself of any trace of memory I have of you. It did not even take too long to create those memories. What was it? A matter of weeks? Days? I can’t believe myself for scraping my knee so badly. It’s your fault for being there, and it’s my stupidity, too. Just make me forget, please.

As I did enter that door of forgetfulness, the trick seemed to backfire on me. I remembered more. It’s like seeing everything over and over again, but this time, it didn’t sting. It made me sleepy, like I don’t want to see it because I’m too tired of it, but the images that played into my mind were so far away now. They’re all only memories. No need to bring them back. Oh I don’t know. HAHA.

I knew today was going to be harsh. Well, not really harsh, but filled with everything. I woke up after four hours of sleep and took a shower then headed to Irvine with Yze and Ry. Guess what.  While waiting for Yze, I burned my precious locks. The smell of burnt showered hair still makes my stomach churn. But it was fun, considering we had hotdogs for lunch and we walked through the coast to burn the lunch off. Then feel the exhaustion creep into our minds like some burning temptation. Ah. Whatever. I had other things to think about.

Like acting. Like starring in some horror flick for my cousin’s project. Like being in front of other people, and horrifyingly eating all my words because of another horror. I’m not good with people relations, acting, talking, screaming, not with anything. Wait. It’s summer and quantitatively, my skills don’t matter. It was fun. It’s all coming back to me. I can feel it. Thanks Camille. Thanks everybody. This day helped me a lot.

 Whoever is reading this right now, are your dreams at night about high school


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