I’m angry.

It’s all angry pms-inspired trash talk. 

It annoys me how your pride can be taller than you, but not surprisingly because you’re not really “tall”. You remind me of those people who talk dung about others, that they’re such jerks and they do not deserve what they have, and that you try so hard but you still don’t get what you want, and what the hell is wrong with this world because it’s so effing unfair to you that you just want to quit and run away or even kill yourself. The thing is you expect too much from people who don’t necessarily have mutual feelings towards your disposition. Then you will enrage yourself because of getting rejected for your overly scripted romantic efforts. This, in turn, drives more people away. You have back ups for people, but not for other things that screw up your life. Your insecurities haunt you though your pride does not allow you to admit it. So, you engage with a lot of personalities, and one by one, you scare them, or they just do not like you in the first place. You know what’s wrong? Deep inside, maybe at the back of your head or in the hollow space between your ears, you nourish the idea that you ARE good enough (blame me for probably feeding your ego once in a while). BUT you’re not – if you continue to act this way. It’s for your own good if you stop expecting people to like you in return. Well, I don’t. I probably never will, no matter how I force myself into imagining that you are likable in all manners of liking. Believe me, I am pathetic enough to admit that during those conversations, I swallowed ideas of you being such an educated, refined person. Too bad, you’re not.

Another annoyance is how you can state your dreams with profound interest, yet you never do them. You start and never finish. Maybe you like the starting post a lot. Maybe you’re just as lazy as I am. Nevertheless, I kind of pity you for not seeing the good things around you because you love dwelling on the things that are not there, and the things that you cannot possibly have without you having to work hard on them. If ever you think running away is a good solution and starting over, maybe you should think about it for a moment. You were given a chance to start over more than a year ago, but you messed it up. What if you mess up the second time around? Why don’t you just continue from where you are right now, and fix things. It takes a lot of courage, and I know you can do it. But hell, you’re letting cowardice to reign your system. You are, surprisingly, a person I respect for messing things up all the time. I don’t know. I’ll stick with you no matter what you do, but please don’t be a coward. If there’s one thing you need, it’s that.

You annoy me, too. Just like the rest of them. You expect me to accept your stuck up notions. I’m not such a dumbass as before. Honestly, why are you so keen on committing if it’s a one way party?

People blame you for being the devil. Ahh, yes. Whenever I think about it, you represent all of them. There are people who care for you but you take them for granted. Is it your pride in keeping your path straight or is it because of some person in your past who messed up your forsaken life? At least think about your kin.

And you. You’re the weirdest, lousiest person I’ve known, but you are one heck of a beautiful bruise.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. joy
    Jul 28, 2007 @ 21:39:15

    the subject seems familiar to me. are you still angry at him, or is it someone else? is the world really filled up with jerky asses? tsk.


  2. trish
    Jul 28, 2007 @ 22:59:14

    haha yea. it’s supposed to be for all of em jerky fat and hairy asses.


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