…to the sleepless nights of talking to people across the world.
…to the one semester that changed my life.
…to the sickness that tested us all.
…to the break up that didn’t hurt.
…my almost lover.
…to the party that will never happen again.
…to all that cramming.
…to crying over math.
…to fights about pills and shaving.
…to getting lost.
…to all that drama.
…to living wallets and user friendly rides.
…to dead fish and dead meat.
…to diet pills and cough syrup.
…procrastination and helping with other people’s projects.
…love. I wish to forget all that we’ve had…if there’s ANYTHING to forget.
…freedom. Hello, America.
…dreams. Hello, America.
…global warming. I hope.

I hope…

…to have a better 2008.
…we’ll all be happy.
…to be a better me.
…to see all of you next year.
…I’ll see you next year although I said goodbye a few minutes ago.
…there’s gonna be Superbad 2. heh.
…you’ve got more plastic wrap with you.
…everybody will be happy.


Pre-New Year’s Resolutions

Boredom made me do this. Even my fish won’t talk to me. Hello 2008. I hope you’re not planning to kill me ’cause I’ve got a couple of plans for you. Hell, let’s just get it over with.

  1. Give a damn.
  2. Be part of taxpaying America.
  3. Sow a money tree and hope it hates Washington and loves the rest of the green fathers.
  4. Breed dear Laszlo and Blaze.
  5. Not kill the rest of my gilled friends.
  6. Invent a time capsule.
  7. Save, save, save.
  8. Hello, lover. HAHAHA.
  9. Mmm. Stop stalking you.
  10. Be sleeping beauty.
  11. Get insurance.
  12. Drive.
  13. Go to heaven.


Why? Of all the questions people would like to ask, it is “why” that most often remains shrugged on or ignored. That question lingers in the back of the mind like a stone dropped on sleeping water. The ripples don’t just fade away. They cascade down until all imaginable corners have been distracted. That unanswered question disturbs the mind. It’s a ticking bomb that drives a whole monument to rubble.

So, why? I wish not to direct my question to certain addressees, but why? Why do you want to become God? Or why do you enter something you do not plan to finish? Why are you very positive that your victim will survive the hell you’ve created? I do not wish to argue. I do not wish to fight. You’ve threatened me in ways I could not even dare myself to think about. Sharing this life you advertised with dreamy detail and unworldly faith, you manipulated the truth. Thank you for everything. Even for leaving halfway. I over estimated you.

All there is left in me is that question. Why?

To the people who are too selfless to listen to trash and prevent world war 3 from happening, thank God you exist. You do not know how much you make things worthwhile. For the rest of the pack, let’s all dine in hell. Or heaven if the food is really good.

I hope you’re happy. I know you are. Let’s hope I am too cause I’m not. My fishes are taking so much of my time. They’re driving me mad. Will someone please give me the gift of reading people’s/fishes’ minds? Heh. Good morning America. Today’s the day that it’s all going to be pointless but it will still mean something. Au revoir.

Fishie fishie.

Winter burns and fin rot. Goddamn feeder gold fish better get the hell out of my tank or they’re gonna meet Ms. Murder. Haha. Just kidding. I’ll let mother nature handle those feeders. They made my whole aquarium sick.

Anyway, hello world. How have you been?  Will you marry me?  This forsaken land of papers and foreclosures will soon end up drowning its inhabitants with debts and drugs. Dear fish, please live up to a hundred.

My dear family’s in Indonesia right now. Hello hello.

What a life.


It’s a trap, you know it by heart. Is it nature or a deliberate act of stupidity that you enter it the same way you stumbled on it before? You’re not cautious because someone told you to “live life” while you’re alive. So you think you’re living it by entering the same rotten trap you once almost died in. You know what you’re doing, don’t you? Let’s bet you’re going to get out with a few bruises, scratches and cuts here and there, but you’ll gladly walk back in. Does it drug you to nostalgia that you gladly put your neck on the line every single time? Don’t tell me you forget what happened before, because I know it scarred you until you can’t feel anymore. Is that what you’re trying to prove the world? That you cannot feel any human emotion, and you act like an animal? You follow your instinct, your senses, your brain, but not your conscience.

I don’t know, dear. That trap is very tricky and you don’t know all the probable situations. You might end up hurting yourself more than teaching yourself not to go back and play with shards of glass. Things happen. They’re unbelievable. They drive you crazy, but you should learn to let them go, and hope that they come back.


Is it the weather? Dry skin? Or is mother Hen laying some golden eggs right now?

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