Sleepless

Tonight, there isn’t much to think about ‘xcept for some stuff that never really got their way through the past year. What do we say when we talk about connections? If it’s online, there’s a big chance that it’s fake. If it’s in person, you’re likely to see liars. If there’s no connection at all, then you’re dumb lucky and cursed at the same time. When you’re at this age, it’s too early. When you’re past this, you’re damn old – you’re more likely to be hit by lightning than to find someone.

There’s no pressure. There’s just the constant nagging at the back of your head telling you that when you need a hug or two, everyone’s too busy. That voice tells you how your brain has lost its power to make you blush, to feel something more than a heartbeat, to make you say some name just because your brain tells you it sounds so nice. (no, you’re not a stalker) There’s no pressure. But there will be once you succeed in silencing that voice at the back of your mind. Someone else will talk. Many will talk. It’s an inevitable force that you can’t escape. It’s that four letter word that makes you cringe. Your equals get goosebumps at the very word. That makes you say “no, dear voice in my head, you have to wait until THAT is gone or until you’re out of THAT’s jurisdiction.”

Is it the paranoia that’s making me feel this? Or should we all just move to Pluto and escape politics?

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