Thoughts.

“You either you do, or you don’t”

“Well what if you do?”

“Then you’re screwed.”

“What if you don’t?”

“You’re still screwed.”

Apologies to those thrown back by the cynicism and lack of faith. We all know the world would not end too soon. A little sacrifice goes a long way, after all…right? Who said that in the first place? Who was the genius who said give up your shit and follow me, make me rich? He ought to be a saint by now, which I wouldn’t doubt. This is rather a discourse on religion, not faith. Are all religions like this at some point? It’s similar to organized crime minus the publicized armor and tattoos, add halo and chants. But that’s not what we’re here for, is it?

I wonder how faith is measured. Will there be a checklist before you die? Or is there an ongoing checklist? Is the measure based on a global metric? Are your results compared to those before you? Will I pass? If I can’t trust myself or others, does that mean I don’t have faith in God either? Oh I’m doomed.

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Water.

You have deemed yourself unworthy of anything. By this, you are unworthy of anything that is classified as a living thing and anything that tastes like a rice cracker. Now for the next test. I know you may have not yet passed the first one, but be prepared.

Test 2: Cleanliness. You are to be rid of all mutable entities. If and when you fail, you will become nothing but the rest of them. Now, if you know what to do, then why aren’t you doing it? Clean up your mess, your act. Get those bloody hands washed and your filthy hair rinsed. Once you are finished, you shall clean your surroundings. It should be rid of all things that may hinder you from becoming alive. Then clean yourself again. Your hands have been dirtied by the soil on which you stand.

Haste, my dear. Time is chasing you.

Letter.

While cleaning the throne of nature, I was saying to myself, “what if you talk to her and tell her what she has to accept? it would not change much if she refuses to change her mind but at least you tried.”

so, IF she ever sees this, I do hope she listens.

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Kiyo and Momo

Let’s see how far this could go.

Two little ants are strolling on a huge lawn. The bigger one called Momo was famous for aqcuiring a huge ant kingdom. Not even humans dare to destroy the enormous pimple on the ground because they know that Momo would take revenge on them someday.

The smaller one was named Kiyo. Kiyo was born with a very hyper stomach. It digests quicker than the normal ant’s stomach.  Momo knew that Kiyo would have a hard time relating to other ants because of this. Momo knew that Kiyo needed someone to take care of him so he survives. Kiyo needed food more than any ant. He had to bring food with him anywhere he goes because he would die if his stomach became empty for more than three minutes. Momo became a good friend and parent to Kiyo. When Kiyo was still small, Momo promised him the whole kingdom knowing that this would inspire Kiyo to work harder for the whole colony. The only condition was that Kiyo should follow what Momo wants.

Most of the time, Momo simply asked Kiyo to run a couple of errands and to go to the boring Queen Ant’s state of the colony speeches everyday. Nevertheless, Kiyo grew up to be a good leader of the ants. One day, he led them all to gather the largest stash of food that the whole colony has ever witnessed. The colony was becoming prosperous, and Momo knew he did a good job in taking good care of Kiyo.

On the day that Momo and Kiyo were walking down the lawn, Kiyo asked Momo if he could lead the entire colony, just as Momo had promised when he was a baby. Momo asked him in return, “How is the economy of the kingdom?”. and Kiyo said, “It is very prosperous and we have food stored to last us five generations!” Momo thought about it. He knew that if he himself led the colony, it would be easy for him. He could use the spare food for himself as well. Momo’s promise to Kiyo is now six feet below the ground. “No, I will keep the colony, and you lead your assigned troop of ants if need be,” said Momo. Kiyo stopped walking for he was completely shocked. He did not expect Momo to break his promise.

Momo ran back after him and explained, “That is mine to begin with. I only let you use it when you needed it. Kiyo, you have been eating too much and I’m afraid you will become a threat to the colony. I cannot let you eat all of the food, and I take the blame. I am responsible for it, and now I forbid you to eat more than the normal share of food. It is mine, Kiyo, not yours.”

“This is unfair. I worked hard for it. He knows I need extra food to live, but he would not give it to me. What am I supposed to do now? Hunt for my own while I am dying?” Kiyo thought. He did not know what to do yet he followed Momo down to the colony.

Warming.

What’s better: the coconut tree that adapts to the weather or the balete tree that gives you shade?

Listen to Mother Nature. Bow to her, or you snap.

And don’t blame her if acid rain falls upon your monuments yet you feed her your dirt.

grounded.

It’s a trap, you know it by heart. Is it nature or a deliberate act of stupidity that you enter it the same way you stumbled on it before? You’re not cautious because someone told you to “live life” while you’re alive. So you think you’re living it by entering the same rotten trap you once almost died in. You know what you’re doing, don’t you? Let’s bet you’re going to get out with a few bruises, scratches and cuts here and there, but you’ll gladly walk back in. Does it drug you to nostalgia that you gladly put your neck on the line every single time? Don’t tell me you forget what happened before, because I know it scarred you until you can’t feel anymore. Is that what you’re trying to prove the world? That you cannot feel any human emotion, and you act like an animal? You follow your instinct, your senses, your brain, but not your conscience.

I don’t know, dear. That trap is very tricky and you don’t know all the probable situations. You might end up hurting yourself more than teaching yourself not to go back and play with shards of glass. Things happen. They’re unbelievable. They drive you crazy, but you should learn to let them go, and hope that they come back.

Dear YOU,

If only Satan gives out free wildcards to random people…

You know what? There’s this big ball of pride, idealism, perfectionism, tradition, and self-righteous vanity that has your name on it. Maybe you dropped it, or you’re just making the world see who you really are, but it’s not working the way you want it to, dear. I don’t think you want people to rush off to the other side of the street when they see you, do you? You must be suffering some serious identity crisis. No, you’re not Hitler.

This may seem a coward’s path of confronting you – through the back door. But telling this to your face would mean going against my own principles in life. I don’t talk back to elders, but I do question their way of thinking. By the way, is this how your brain once worked? Tell me, were you really this stiff when you were my age?

Don’t older people have to be more understanding because of their self-proclaimed wisdom and knowledge gained from their years and years of experiences? Then why are you very inconsiderate, self-righteous and hypocritical? You have mocked my parents’ ways of disciplining their children, but you don’t even have one. How can you possibly insult them in front of me? What’s funny is how you make yourself look so saintly but your heart is as black as everyone else’s.

Please don’t say one thing and do the other. Stick to your word. It’s called INTEGRITY. And please let me sleep at night without hearing your incessant rants at the back of my head. I can’t believe you had the guts to argue even if you know the grave consequences it might bring.

You are not nor will you ever match with my MOM.

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