I apologize for the very conceited post, but this has to be.

As much as I would want to keep this to myself and as much as my mind is contradicting me, I miss you.


Okay end of story moving on.

“Muevelo.” Oh let me see other versions.. muevete? mueveme? Crap. I want to do something with my life… and so I decided to write. Someone stopped me from mediocrity (yes it’s the word of the day). There is so much more to life than ADV1’s ADV4’s …manager ones two and threes… directors and ceo’s… to break room coffees, hello pandas, sour punch and ginger tea. Life has a lot in store aside from khaki pants, purple checkered polos, red polka dot socks. The big bang sure created so much more than weekly achievements that mostly relate to code fixes, system updates, new requirements, old requirements that were missed, lack of authorizations, poor design, and all that crap. I’m pretty sure that aside from the celestial bodies, time, space, and matter, the big bang also created dreams and aspirations and world changing ideas and wonderful people and that thing called greatness. I’m sure many have made buckets of money over books on greatness but how does that determine the measure of greatness? It should be relative, right? Well how do you measure one’s standards if one’s standards aren’t even set? Someday we’ll know.

I want to change the world. Join me.



“You either you do, or you don’t”

“Well what if you do?”

“Then you’re screwed.”

“What if you don’t?”

“You’re still screwed.”

Apologies to those thrown back by the cynicism and lack of faith. We all know the world would not end too soon. A little sacrifice goes a long way, after all…right? Who said that in the first place? Who was the genius who said give up your shit and follow me, make me rich? He ought to be a saint by now, which I wouldn’t doubt. This is rather a discourse on religion, not faith. Are all religions like this at some point? It’s similar to organized crime minus the publicized armor and tattoos, add halo and chants. But that’s not what we’re here for, is it?

I wonder how faith is measured. Will there be a checklist before you die? Or is there an ongoing checklist? Is the measure based on a global metric? Are your results compared to those before you? Will I pass? If I can’t trust myself or others, does that mean I don’t have faith in God either? Oh I’m doomed.

Infect me with your love

Reformation 10101. After eating at the Brazilian buffet, it felt as if a massacre took place in my mouth — all that meat. Lesson learned… there are lessons to be learned from PETA adds.

Graduation 10101. It felt as if there were swarms of bees in my tummy — this is good — better than the normal diarrhea feeling. There is now a period to the long awaited, extra extended ellipses in the not so long sentence of computer science undergraduate education. Good day. Thanks Ma and Tita Bebe. Thanks Paul. Thanks Nicki. ha. Thank YOU, finally. Loli, would you have been proud of me? I hope this made you happy.

p.s. i hope those smiles were not all plastered just because the day called for it.

Continuation 10101. What next? More work, more competition. We’ve been on this boat for a while now so there’s really not much to be surprised about.uhh but … WHAT NEXT!?!?! =)

Good times.

Back to Zero

Ahh the introductory stage of calamity psychology. One would feel instantaneous pulses of emotion – as if being shot by adrenalin straight to the cardiac muscle. One may say that this feeling is similar to that of pulling the trigger aimed for a kill – while others would say it is reminiscent of touching the goal 0.01 seconds before the others. The human body has been gifted – or shall we say – enabled with a spectrum of emotions. With so many chemical imbalances and combinations, it would be easy to assume that attaining one specific emotion is easy, doable. If so, then why do we all search for it?

Yes. It’s that feeling of true ….. (I can’t say it because I’m still in the process of attaining it).

Why is it so easy to say yet so hard to prove? I hope there’s a user’s manual for everything thrown at us in life: lemons, strawberries, apple pie… but then it would be half the fun and zero the life.

Hello penguins.


You have deemed yourself unworthy of anything. By this, you are unworthy of anything that is classified as a living thing and anything that tastes like a rice cracker. Now for the next test. I know you may have not yet passed the first one, but be prepared.

Test 2: Cleanliness. You are to be rid of all mutable entities. If and when you fail, you will become nothing but the rest of them. Now, if you know what to do, then why aren’t you doing it? Clean up your mess, your act. Get those bloody hands washed and your filthy hair rinsed. Once you are finished, you shall clean your surroundings. It should be rid of all things that may hinder you from becoming alive. Then clean yourself again. Your hands have been dirtied by the soil on which you stand.

Haste, my dear. Time is chasing you.


While cleaning the throne of nature, I was saying to myself, “what if you talk to her and tell her what she has to accept? it would not change much if she refuses to change her mind but at least you tried.”

so, IF she ever sees this, I do hope she listens.


Kiyo and Momo

Let’s see how far this could go.

Two little ants are strolling on a huge lawn. The bigger one called Momo was famous for aqcuiring a huge ant kingdom. Not even humans dare to destroy the enormous pimple on the ground because they know that Momo would take revenge on them someday.

The smaller one was named Kiyo. Kiyo was born with a very hyper stomach. It digests quicker than the normal ant’s stomach.  Momo knew that Kiyo would have a hard time relating to other ants because of this. Momo knew that Kiyo needed someone to take care of him so he survives. Kiyo needed food more than any ant. He had to bring food with him anywhere he goes because he would die if his stomach became empty for more than three minutes. Momo became a good friend and parent to Kiyo. When Kiyo was still small, Momo promised him the whole kingdom knowing that this would inspire Kiyo to work harder for the whole colony. The only condition was that Kiyo should follow what Momo wants.

Most of the time, Momo simply asked Kiyo to run a couple of errands and to go to the boring Queen Ant’s state of the colony speeches everyday. Nevertheless, Kiyo grew up to be a good leader of the ants. One day, he led them all to gather the largest stash of food that the whole colony has ever witnessed. The colony was becoming prosperous, and Momo knew he did a good job in taking good care of Kiyo.

On the day that Momo and Kiyo were walking down the lawn, Kiyo asked Momo if he could lead the entire colony, just as Momo had promised when he was a baby. Momo asked him in return, “How is the economy of the kingdom?”. and Kiyo said, “It is very prosperous and we have food stored to last us five generations!” Momo thought about it. He knew that if he himself led the colony, it would be easy for him. He could use the spare food for himself as well. Momo’s promise to Kiyo is now six feet below the ground. “No, I will keep the colony, and you lead your assigned troop of ants if need be,” said Momo. Kiyo stopped walking for he was completely shocked. He did not expect Momo to break his promise.

Momo ran back after him and explained, “That is mine to begin with. I only let you use it when you needed it. Kiyo, you have been eating too much and I’m afraid you will become a threat to the colony. I cannot let you eat all of the food, and I take the blame. I am responsible for it, and now I forbid you to eat more than the normal share of food. It is mine, Kiyo, not yours.”

“This is unfair. I worked hard for it. He knows I need extra food to live, but he would not give it to me. What am I supposed to do now? Hunt for my own while I am dying?” Kiyo thought. He did not know what to do yet he followed Momo down to the colony.

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